Presumptions and Preparations

Ah, Paris in autumn. The leaves are falling. The air is crisp. The train est bloquer. Les gens sont les gens. 


And, though some may beg to differ, I believe it's true: there are many stinky people in Paris.

After two months here, I've decided that now is a good time to mention a few other things about studying abroad, or even re-locating to a foreign country for that matter. I mentioned before that it has not been easy, but I think it is important to elaborate on this. There are so many things one cannot possibly prepare for, but there are many things that you can mentally prepare for, if given the right pointers. Here are a few things I wish someone would've told me... and maybe they can help you!

1) Don't assume people can speak your language
I know this may seem like an absurd thing to mention, but any Anglophone who goes to live in a foreign country is in for a few surprises. That being said, moving to Paris as a native English speaker is much easier than say, moving to Paris as a Mandarin speaker. However, as a student attempting to truly learn the language, the fact that some people speak English is equally a blessing and a curse. The moment you hesitate on a word or the structure of a sentence, Parisians will tell you, "In English, if it's easier." But...but....I'm learning French? I'm trying to speak French? I don't want to fall back on my English! Perhaps it is easier elsewhere, but Paris is a fast-paced city, and people have things to do and places to be. :)

I know it may seem like I'm contradicting my point here, but the real point is, I have also encountered many people who simply do not speak English. You need to get your point across? Find a way to communicate even if you don't have the words. Use gestures, point, attempt a Frenglish word. This has been quite a learning process, as I really have not assumed anyone spoke English, but it becomes very obvious you're not a native French-speaker the second you hesitate, which sometimes - okay, often - causes people to lose patience with you, naturally, and makes you feel a bit inadequate. However, it is all part of the process! I have finally come to terms with the fact that I am a foreigner. And you know what? That is fine. It does not make you stupid, slow, or even inadequate. If people lose patience with you, or even become frustrated with you, it is just best to remind yourself that it's really not your problem (as long as you're trying :))))) And I cannot express my elation on good French days when I am able to actually communicate with Parisians, get my point across, even make jokes that people actually understand and laugh at! Sometimes I fail miserably, but hey, you can't win them all.

2) Don't worry if people assume you can't speak theirs
It has been endlessly fascinating to interact with the French and see all of the different reactions one gets when trying to communicate with them in their language. There have been numerous French people who have told me I speak well. Now, this could be considered a good thing if half of those numerous people didn't surmise this conclusion after you've responded to 2 or 3 questions they've asked (most likely the same boring questions everyone asks of each other upon first meeting). Au contraire, what they say is true: to receive a compliment from a French person is plutôt rare, and indeed, you should accept it with grace (nary a hint of your bursting, childlike gratitude) and, quite possibly, believe it.

On the other hand (there is always an other hand), you may encounter many people, even people you respect, who are quick to judge your level, even insulting or degrading you. I have had not one, but two professors tell me I had mal comprehension when I approached them regarding an already stressful situation. Not exactly what you want to hear from someone who is supposed to build you up, especially given the fact that you're struggling to adjust to everything in your new home country. However, take it in stride. Often the fleeting, snappy interactions that happen so frequently do not leave much margin for error. Et moi, I am a spacy person in my home country. What makes me think here would be any different? I've never been good at small talk, or des petites échanges...

3) There will be many things that are just out of your control
This goes hand-in-hand with point number one, but beyond. I cannot even tell you how much money I've spent given the weakness of the dollar compared to the euro. Normally, I am a very organized albeit neurotic person, but all of that goes out the window here. You cannot possibly be that way when you don't have a complete grasp on the language, the culture, the customs, the market! There will be many, many things you buy or spend your money on at first that you later realize may not have been the best deal. In fact, it is very easy to be ripped off when you are unaware of everything. Is this really the best price for this grocery item? Who cares, I am beyond tired from trying to communicate with people all day. Are these bootlegged DVD's really worth 3 euro? No, in fact, they were dubbed in Russian - and I thought I couldn't understand French! Do I really want to live in this quartier populaire where I don't feel safe walking home at night? No, of course not, but it's either that or be homeless. Do I really want to pay a 1000 euro agency fee for an apartment? Well, non, but it's either that or be homeless again. Do I like surimi? No, in fact, it's some sort of crab paste that looks like normal crab before you bite into it. Do I really want to stay out past 1:40 when the last train leaves the station? Yes, even if it means being stranded in a cab line with 20 other people at Opéra at 4 in the morning. Because I am hanging out with French people and having fun and you only live once! In Paris, no less!

3) No matter what, keep a positive attitude
I know this may seem cliché, but I have encountered so many hurdles in just trying to get established here that I would've been crushed had I not maintained a level-head. Between going to the bank 5 times and then realizing finally it was a branch mix-up, being forced into taking a place that I not only didn't want but was in a bad neighborhood, between being approached by men in ways we would consider aggressive in the United States and waiting in line 20 minutes - every time! - at the grocery store, it is important to relax. Things could be worse. I am living in arguably the most amazing city in the world, and having an amazing experience.

The best things in life are not usually cheap or easy. I will cherish every moment, and am glad technology makes it so easy for me to keep a record....:)

A bientôt,
e r i n